Two months in

I don't know how I feel about being a mom, I just know I want to be a good one. I want to be like how Chauna was and is to me and the boys. She is amazing at being a mom.

It feels so good to wake up on Saturday and not have a punding headache from all the alcohol I had drank the night before. I can't say the same about puking though. I feel nauseous from the moment I open my eyes in the morning, to the second I close them at night. The sight of things make me puke, the smell of things make me want to puke. Ugh. For example, I was watching American Wedding  and Stiffler had to eat dog shit... I died. I puked and puked, I was so angry at the movie, it was just awful.

The only thing I really crave is fruit. I swear I could eat a whole watermellon if I had the opportunity to. Another sympton I have is my hair falls out, I feel like a shedding dog. The MOST hair I'd ever lose is like 3 stands in the shower and now just running my fingers through my hair makes it come out :( Also, MEMORY LOSS, I forget little things all the time like that I was cooking something, leaving my straightner on, forgetting if I just put my cell in my purse 10 seconds ago or if it's still on my bed. The other day I was sweeping the floor and I was like "Where's the dust pan?...probably where I found the broom... wait, where did i find the broom?" I couldn't remember for the life of me. I don't think I've had any drastict changes in my mood, I haven't bit Frazer's head off yet...

I now work 16 hour days, 8am to 4pm at the elementary school then 4pm to midnight at the Mackenzie Hotel. It gets exhausting sometimes but I'm sving up for me and Tamara's trip to Edmonton, I can't wait to get a small break away from the town and work and just shop. Frazer is also really busy with work, he works 10 hour shifts 7 days a week. So the only time we really see each other is a few minutes in the morning before he leaves, lunch and a few minutes at night before I fall alseep after a long day.