Life With Levi

I have been so busy being a new mom and trying to also spend time with my friends before they leave for school, I had no time for this blog. But here is an update on how Levi has been and how I have adjusted to being a mom!

For starters, Levi is wonderful baby. She only cries for the necessary - hungry, dirty diaper, and tired. She is so content with just sitting up, looking around and absorbing everything around her. I love being a mom and becoming excited as she discovers milestones. Seeing new colours, focusing in something, learning to smile back at someone and finding her fingers. I love it all! 

Frazer and I fumbled around for the first 2 months, figuring out what she wanted, liked and what we could deal with. We have found out that our baby loves to cuddle (yes she currently takes up half the bed every night) and is pretty much the happiest baby in the world when someone is holding her. She likes going for rides (what baby doesn't?), hates blankets on her, screams when someone with cold hands touches her, is annoyed by kisses and doesn't seem to be a picky eater when it comes to breast milk or formula. 

She is so strong. Holding up her own head at less than a week old and has what I call a "death grip" where she holds on tight to you to make sure you aren't putting her down anytime soon. I am always told about how big her hands are and how strong she is, it is always one the first things noticed when someone is holding her. I'd like to think that she is "Sarah proofed" because I am so clumsy and dropping things or tripping over something. 

As for being a new mom, I love it. There is something everyday to be excited about. Her learning curves and just to wake up every singe day to the biggest smile in the world and it's all for me. She gets up in the morning and as soon as I say "Good morning my Little Angel" she has the hugest smile spread across her face, her legs start kicking and she reaches up for my face, words can't explain my feelings in that moment and how blessed I feel. 

Bring on the Pain.

I did everything to put myself into labour. Not only was I ready to be done being pregnant, my main doctor wasn't going to be in town after June 11th so I was in a rush to have Levi before our doctor left. I walked all over the place for as long as I could, I made Frazer take me on bumpy rides and I even ate a tablespoon of hot sauce.. still no Levi. 

On June 13th I went to the doctors office to get my membranes stripped. I heard it was suppose to hurt, the doctor even warned me of having discomfort but I didn't really feel a thing. The doctor was surprised at my non-emotional attitude towards it and informed me that I was 3 cm dilated already. 

By now I felt disapointment that I wasn't holding my baby yet and frustrated that this is one thing I couldn't demand or make happen. At 10pm Frazer and I went for another bumpy ride, this time to Airport Lake. I must have flew out of my seat close to four times, but by 12am  I had started feeling small contractions. YES. It was finally happening.

Because my Strep B test was positive (a virus that 30% of women carry that causes no harm to the women but can harm the baby when he/she is being delivered) I was nervous about not knowing when I was suppose to go in. So going to 1:00am I woke Frazer up to take me to the hospital "just to check". Once I got to the hospital the nurse checked me and said I was still only 3 cm and my water hadn't broke, she gave me a shot of morphine so I could get some sleep and sent me home. 

At home, Frazer instantly fell asleep and I rolled back and forth with a hot water bottle trying to get comfy enough to sleep (needless to say the morphine did shit all). First I was too anxious to sleep, but than contractions started hitting every 10 mins and than got down to every 5 mins. I still just layed in bed trying to go to sleep but was rudely woken every time I'd have to breath through a contraction, by now it was going to 6am when all of a sudden I heard this strange tearing sound. I jumped out of bed super fast and tried to run to the washroom, but as soon as my feet hit the floor my water broke and it gushed everywhere! I couldn't believe what had just happened, I stood there in soaking wet shorts in a pool of water and called to Frazer to get up. Frazer was very calm and got a towel to wipe my legs dry and got me new pajama pants to put on. We walked downstairs, where I had to climb into Frazer's oversized truck. I was still in shock as we drove to the hospital, when we got there Chauna was waiting for us and as we were walking in a contraction hit me and I couldn't take it anymore, I bursted out crying, crying in pain and in fear, the whole moment was all so overwhelming.

When we got to the ER front desk there was no body there and me having no patience walked down past the desk and to the nurses and informed them I was here to stay this time. The next part is kind of a blur. I was laying in the delivery room in so much pain the nurse checked me and said I was 7 cm dilated. Contractions were hitting me right and left, up and down. I couldn't catch a break between them and in desperation I asked for the epidural I had planned to take. Chauna laughed and looked at me with sympathetic eyes and told me I was too far along to get one. I replied "What? Nooooo." but I was too busy dealing with contractions to try to do my Sarah Sweet Talking and wiggle me way out of this one. The nurse told me that I could have laughing gas "to take the edge off" It felt like forrevverrr before they finally brought me the laughing gas (which also did nothing by the way). Then I started feeling an overwhelming urge to push. I was so agitated by now and yelling that I had to push but was told I couldn't because I wasn't fully dilated, while this was going on there was a male nurse trying to get my blood pressure and I kept ripping the arm wrap off because it was squeezing my arm and my tummy was squeezing and I was just having none of that. I told them "check me again! I need to push" The nurse said "No Sarah, I'm not going to check, you need to breath" (They don't like to check you too much after your water has broke to avoid bacteria being exposed to the baby) I was so angry and in so much pain. This isn't what I had planned at all, everything was happening so fast and I couldn't believe how fast my pain was escalating. My body started taking over and pushing for me, I had no control over it and FINALLY she checked me and said "oh, you are fully dilated" I remember saying "I can push now??" in a desperate voice. I've never felt pain so rewarding before. 

At 7:27am our baby was born. All the pain in my body was gone and I finally had felt calm. "What is it?" asked the nurse "Just a second" said the doctor (the umbilical cord was wrapped around her body in every which way) "....it's a...a girl!" and she was plopped on my chest. I was so surprised that I had a girl. I really thought I was having a boy and as I looked at my new baby laying my chest, she didn't cry. She just sucked on her fingers and curled into my chest. I looked up at Frazer who had been standing next to me the whole time and he looked like he was in complete amazement by this tiny new human. We were both so in love with Levi. She looked nothing like me and everything like Frazer. I played with her long dark hair and rubbed her cheeks. She was perfect and worth every ounce of pain. 

Only Days Away...

My last day of work today! Woo! I could not be more happy about it. Some days have been pretty hard to go to work, but I am glad I pushed through it and I. am. done. All my hard work now means for the next year I will get to stay home with my baby and watch Levi grow and not have to worry about financial problems. I've never been so proud of myself and for the FIRST time in my life I will not have to worry about school or a job. Aaaa I love it!
At my last doctors appointment my baby's heart is still high for no apparent reason. So I had to get blood work done and also give a urine sample which came back normal. At my appointment today, after checking the baby's heart beat, the doctor send me for an emergency ultrasound because the baby's heart rate was above 170. Everything in the ultrasound was normal and Levi was too cute in some weird yoga position, with his feet tucked up to his tummy and ALL his fingers in his mouth sucking away without a care in the world. I cant wait to just hold him and love him up.

I'm so ready to have this baby already, I'm tired of the waiting game. Frazer is getting anxious too, I'm happy he is excited about becoming a dad and he such an amazing man. He has been telling the baby for the past couple days that "it's okay to come out now" haha he makes me laugh everyday.

Chauna took maternity pictures for me yesterday, she drew little feet on my tummy, we wrote "38 Weeks" across my belly, it was all pretty fun and I am happy I will have pictures of my big ol' tummy.  We also went to Northmart and we just HAD to look in the baby section! There was a Moses basket which I instantly fell inlove with, a cute little giraffe blanket... It would have been nice to buy either blues or pinks, but soon enough I will find out. In a few ways I am happy I couldn't find out because I am lot more excited for the surprise. I will honestly be really surprised though if the doctor announces "It's a Girl!" 

I've decided that after the baby comes I would like to stay at my parents house for a few days just to get the hang of being a new mom, also it will be easier for me to not have to worry about cooking dinner, cleaning up a whole house, feeding a new baby and caring for it. Also it will be easier for people to visit me at my parents house then it is at my apartment. I know Frazer doesn't really want to and I feel a bit bad for taking his new baby and staying somewhere where he isn't as comfortable, but he's going to have to just get use to it. We are both going to have to just get use to a lot of things...

  

 

 Today I am 38 weeks and 2 days pregnant which means I have 1 week and 5 days until my due date (12 days!) 

 

The Last Month!

At one of my last appointment on May 2nd the doctor said I need to slow down and stop working so much, he said I should at least quit one job right now because "it will all catch up with you" I think I will be fine. I want to work until the end of May and I am set on working my hardest until than. My jobs aren't hard and I don't lift anything or get tired out while working, so I don't think "it will catch up with me" The only hard part is the days I get less than 7 hours of sleep, that's when I just want to cry like a baby because I'm just so tired.. we all know I don't though. I only have about 9 shifts of work left and I will begin my year as a stay at home mommy! 

We had a little scare at my latest doctor visit yesterday... After the doctor felt my tummy to check the baby's position, he checked the heart rate which was really high. Normally a baby's heart rate should be between120 - 160 and my baby's was 180. From the clinic a nurse escorted me to the labor room where they monitored the baby's heart beat for about 20 minutes. The doctor came in and said he would like me to drink a lot of fluids and come back in the morning. So today I went back and they baby's heart rate was around 150 (which is good and normal). They would like to check the baby's heart rate one more time on Sunday, so I will go again on Sunday. I am hoping is was just because I was dehydrated and nothing more than that.
While they were checking the baby's heart rate they had to turn the machine away from me because my heart rate kept going up every time I'd see my baby's little heart shoot up to 180 and then drop to 140. It was so overwhelming to not know what was wrong and to not be able to protect my baby. I'm glad Chauna knows me better than I know myself because although I told her she didn't have to come and that I was fine, she came anyways and I felt a lot better with her there. 

Everything else has been perfectly fine though! I've been "nesting" at home. Which means cleaning and organizing like a crazy person when you know the baby is suppose to come home soon. I vacuumed and steam cleaned my carpets, moved my room around so that there's more space, threw out old clothes and put all the baby's stuff away in his/her dresser. I also have my diaper bag ready to go to the hospital, along with my own hospital bag. I ment to  do dishes, sweep, mop and clean the bathroom today but I ended up having a 3 hour nap and then it was time for me to go to work. Tomorrow I'll do it perhaps. 

Lately I feel a lot of anxiety when I'm left alone and especially when Frazer goes out. I think I'm scared to go into labor and be alone and not be able to get a hold of anyone. Sometimes I just feel bad for everything, children crying, dogs walking, littering.... The doctor said it's normal to feel like that in the last month, to not feel hungry or not want to do anything but he said it's important to have people around that you enjoy and to try to keep your mind busy with other things. So that is what I will do. I've never been one to show my feelings, but I am happy Frazer is noticing my anxiety and starting to stay home with me more often or asking me if I just want to go with him (I usually do!) 

So besides being a emotional train wreck, nesting and caring a baby who likes to scare his mommy, I am doing just fine! No stretch marks still and no massive weight gain which is always a plus to feel good about your body while making a body. I really can't complain about anything, I have so much support and love from me and Frazer's family and friends. Frazer has been more than I can ask for during this pregnancy. He always makes sure my favorite snacks are at home and the fridge always has orange juice in it. He just takes care of all my needs for me, which is probably why I have felt close to zero stress through this whole adventure. 


I am 36 weeks & 3 days which means I have 3 weeks & 4 days (25 days) until my due date.

Questions!

How did you find out you were pregnant?  

I went to emergency because the pregnancy test I took didn't work.

What kind of Pregnancy test did you take?  

I peed on a stick... I don't know what brand it was

How many? 

Just 1

What were your 1st symptoms?   

Non-stop puking and always tired

Who did you tell first?  

Amber

Who was with you when you found out?   

The nurses at the hospital and I was texting Amber the whole time

My 1st reaction: 

very overwhelmed, confused, scared

Was your baby planned? 

No

When was the baby conceived? 

Sometime between September 15 - 23

How far were you when you found out? 

I was about 6 weeks along

How did your parents react?

A bit upset because they would have liked me to finish school and have a career going before I had a baby - They are happy and excited now tho.

My baby

Due Date:  

June 12, 2013

Do you know the sex?   

No, but I tried to find out TWICE

Any names? 

The only named agreed upon has been Levi - Boy or girl, rain or shine.

Any Ultrasounds? 

I've had 3 so far. First one was when I was 10 weeks, than when I was 18 weeks and at 20 weeks

Have you heard the heart beat?  

Many times! Best sound in the world.

Who do you think it will look like?  

I'm not sure, I'm hoping like Frazer because little brown abo babies are the cutest!

Will the baby have siblings?   

Nope

Have you felt the baby move? 

Seems like he doesn't stop moving

Miscellaneous

Did you have morning sickness? 

For almost the first 5 months. One of the hardest things I've probably had to struggle through in my life. I would do it all over again tho to be right back where I am today.

Did you have any cravings?

Uhm, I love Orange Juice and chips. Some days I crave burgers tho or pizza.

Did you have any mood swings?

I don't think I do... I feel very clingy tho. I don't like to be alone and sometimes I feel sad for no reason when I'm alone.

Are you a high risk pregnancy? 

Nope, I am having a very happy and healthy pregnancy.

Any complications? 

No

Formula or Breastfeeding? 

I am going to breastfeed. It is the best thing for the baby.

Have you bought anything for the baby yet?   

Lol, what haven't I bought for the baby yet is a better question

When did you start to show? 

In January I started getting my cute little bump

How long could you wear your regular clothes? 

I'm still wearing my regular clothes... jeans and all

Will you keep the baby’s clothes? 

Some of them because I am a sentimental person, I will defiantly be keeping the baby's coming home outfit.

Home or Hospital?  

Hospital. There is no way in hell I am going through labor without any medication. 

Natural or Medicated birth?  

I want the epidural.

Who will be in the delivery room with you? 

I want Frazer in the room, but he doesn't want to be, also I need Chauna in the room.

Do you think you will need a C-section? 

I don't think I will because the baby has already in birthing position (I am aware that he can turn whenever he wants) but at the same time my mom had to have a c-section with me because I was breech

Will you cry when you hold the baby for the 1st time? 

Haha I was wondering the same thing, I never cry but I've never had my own baby handed to me before either 

What’s the 1st thing you might say to the baby?   

I'm not really sure, probably start with a "Hello" or a "Hi Baby!"  seems appropriate...

Will you let anyone video tape the birth? 

Eff that. This is suppose to be one of the most painful things to go through, why would I want to relive it?

Are you excited?   

This dumb and quite obvious question, of course I am. 

Who will help you with the baby after the birth?

Chauna and Jay, Frazer and I'm sure his mom will want to be around to help a lot too.

What is your favorite thing about being pregnant?  

Feeling the baby move, my silky long hair and nice finger nails

What is the worst thing about being pregnant?  

Feeling large, morning sickness, peeing all of the time, migraines, sweaty feet, lots more hair on my legs, armpits, and belly and pregnancy brain

What’s one thing you miss doing since being pregnant? 

I really miss skidooing... 

Any days you wish you were not pregnant? 

Nope, if anything, I think I am going to miss being pregnant.

Are you ready for a baby?

Ya, I am now. I've had the time to mentally prepare for it and get myself organized and ready for as much as I can.

How many kids do you want?

I've always said I wanted 3, but I will see how this one goes. I know I want at least one more.

Do you talk to the baby?

Once in a while... I ask him what he is doing in the there when I can feel him really moving around, I tell him its okay after doctor appointments because they really squeeze my tummy to feel him and I assume he doesn't like it and I am always rubbing him and giving him massages. Do you still feel attractive?

Some days I think I look fine and others days I feel like a whale.

Have you had your baby shower yet?

No

Do you like kids?

Ya

How far along are you now? 

35 weeks! 

I've Lost My Mind.

I have the worst pregnancy brain. I easily forget anything and everything. The other night at work I called a cab to go home, waited for the cab, walked outside to get in the cab and then realized my truck was parked outside. I've also forgotten to pick Tamara up at work and she usually has to remind me to not forget about her. I forget my keys, phone and wallet on a regular basis. Sometimes when I'm driving, I get to my house, park the vehicle and remember that I had a bunch of things to do before I went home. Speaking of driving, my driving has gone to shit these days, I am always nervous about driving. Frazer has found the pizza cuter, cereal and other weird things the fridge. Sometimes I'll ask or say something to him and then say the same thing a few minutes later and he'll tell me "you just told me that...." I think its worse when he doesn't tell me and just answers the question for the second time, he must feel like he is dealing with a crazy person. 

Also I've been having weird dreams. Last night I had a dream that I had my baby on April 15th and I was upset because my baby wasn't a Gemini, I also felt guilty because he was so small and had troubles breathing. And then Chauna also named my baby and I didn't like the name... it was just a series of unfortunate events. The other night I dreamt' that two of my babies were dogs and we had a third baby which we forgot at the hospital for so long that they named her. While driving home the dogs turned into babies and they were all really cute and I loved them. People were shocked saying "Sarah, I thought you only had 1 kid" It was weird. Also their names were Levi, Cassy and Stacey, Frazer and I were going to change Levi's name to something else so we could change Stacey's name to Levi because we didn't like her name. 

Besides losing my mind I've been doing really well. Pregnancy has been treating me good after I got through the really hard first 5 months. I thought about it today and it doesn't even phase me, I'd puke my guts up, starve and have wicked head aches all over again for my baby if I had to. Its strange to think of the fact that I am head over heals in love with someone I haven't even met yet and how I would be so heart broken if anything were to happen to my baby. It really is a different kind of love, there just are not enough words to express it. 
I've been losing quite a bit of energy, even standing for "O'Canada" in the morning feels like a loooong time to be standing. I can honestly fall asleep at any given opportunity, as long as its the appropriate place and time, I will sleep. I can have long naps in the day and have no problem going back to bed at night. I am still not uncomfortable yet, except the trips to the washroom in the middle of the night have began. 

Oh yes, I got to see my baby again at a doctors appointment. It was so neat! The doctor came in with his laptop and a microphone looking thing and rubbed gel all over my tummy. He had a program on his laptop that allowed us to see the baby. The baby was already upside down, with his head in my pelvic bone (birth position) and his knees tucked up to his tummy. His little hands were resting on his cheek and the other one across his chest. He was so perfect.  

Uncomfortable Yet?

After 31 weeks, the baby puts a strain on your immune system and it makes it very easy for you to get sick.. and at my 31 weeks mark, guess who is sicker than a dog? I have a wicked cold and I don't want to take any medication for it because I don't want to harm my baby so I am suffering through it. I've tried all natural remedies, honey, lime and tea to drink and I've been sucking on Halls but I still feel like s**t. Frazer suggested that I put a onion by my bed because he read about that old wives tale that it sucks up at the virus. I have nothing to lose so now I have 2 onions by my bed and I must say when I woke up in the middle of the night I was happy to find that I could breath through my nose. Pretty cool!
The baby has become quite aggressive with his/her kicks and sometimes they even jolt me out of place. I still have no idea when this kid gets his 14 hours of sleep, he sleeps for 2 hours at the MOST every now and than. Frazer calls him my 12 alarm clock because as soon as midnight hits he non-stop moves around and kicks and he will still be awake in the middle of the night and when I get up in the morning. He sleeps for a bit when I'm at work and is back up again by lunch time, but they say an active baby is a healthy baby so kick away child. 
I'm pretty sure I started feeling a couple braxton hicks contractions, all they are is your muscles tightening for about 30 seconds and they happen just at random, it's nothing to worry about said the internet... haha I also started to be able to feel the position of the baby. I am pretty sure he is upside down (they way he is suppose to be) I feel his kicks at the top of my tummy and he likes to stick his bum out which usually I feel in the middle of my tummy or on the right side.   

I can't believe that I only have about 8 weeks left to go until I get to meet my little bundle of joy. I am happy I've kept busy with 2 jobs this whole time, it really has made time fly also it has put a nice amount of money into saving for when I wont be working. I am going to do my best to get another 6 to 7 weeks of work in before I become a stay at home mom. I wonder if I'll get bored staying home all the time? I'll have to find a hobby of some sort I think. I've never had a hobby because I get bored of things very easily and end up not wanting to do it anymore. For example, I started scrapping booking my own baby album... 3 or 4 years ago and I haven't touched it since.

I do my best not to complain about being pregnant or try to be a drama queen about it, but here is a list of not so nice thing about being pregnant: 

• Hair grows fast and thick...every where. And I am talking about on my tummy (I know what you were thinking I was getting to) I have a layer of fuzzy fur on my tummy and I think it looks awful.
• You can't shave your hairy ape legs after 30 weeks.
• Sometimes its days before you poop.
• You will feel like a broken record when answering people's questions about your pregnancy...When are you due? Do you know what you're having? Are you uncomfortable yet? & How are YOU? << what they are really asking is the previous three questions.
• There are moments when you just want to say "f--k it, I'm pregnant." and just sleep.
• Holding your pee is not an option. 
• Google has saved me from many trips to the ER because I am constantly worrying about something.
• If you don't drink enough water you will feel like camel lost in the desert on a very hot day.
• Speaking of hot day, everyday feels like a hot day to your feet.
• Ever felt like you were outgrowing your ribs? Well you will when your ego is prego.